Epistle To Philemon

Epistle To Philemon

One of the least frequently quoted books, Philemon was written at almost the same time as the letter of Colossians and delivered to Colosse by Tychicus and Onesimus. (Col. 4:7-9; Phil. 12). Philemon was likely to be converted under Paul’s ministry (vs. 19). Philemon was a master of slaves, a well-to-do Christian, a friend of Paul. It was mentioned that the Colossian church met in his house for their gatherings (Philemon 2). Onesimus was Philemon’s run-away slave who met Paul in Rome and was led to know Christ. Verse 18 seems to indicate that he had wronged Philemon and fled to Rome.

This letter is themed on forgiveness and reconciliation. It is a perfect illustration of what Christ did for us in restoring us to Father God – where the example of imputed guilt and shame is replayed. In this sense every one of us is an ‘Onesimus’. We have fallen short of God’s glory but when we met Christ, He took all our iniquities upon Himself and carried them to the cross where He paid for them with His life and blood. Onesimus fell short of Philemon’s favour but when he met Paul in Rome, Paul implored Philemon to transfer the guilt of Onesimus’ fault to his name. His exact words to Philemon were “..if he has wronged you or owes you anything, put that on my account” (Philemon 18). Paul was prepared to bear Onesimus’ guilt and suffer its consequence so that the servant might be restored to his master.

That was the essence of Paul’s letter to Philemon. It was a letter soliciting forgiveness and reconciliation. Have we wondered why? How was it that a personal letter would find itself a place in the Holy Bible we read today? Yet, this letter detailing a private business is today part of God’s Word. We ask, where is God’s Word in this letter since there is hardly instruction or doctrine in this personal note of a friend to another? Yet it’s there, in fact, the entire letter is the lesson itself. The letter was recorded for us so that as we read on we may come to realise the magnitude of Paul’s heart for Onesimus and from the things that he’s asked Philemon to do for Onesimus we may realise the right treatment that should be given to those who are party to a wrong.

This is a letter of subtle instruction on love and, you could say, Christian mannerisms. From his letter, we are able to see into Paul’s heart and discover the profound love he has towards the blood of his fellowship. He was full of genuine love for Onesimus as well as Philemon. There are some lessons for us in this personal letter. Let us go to them.

The Value of Dealing Wisely with an Individual

All throughout the accounts made regarding Paul, we read of his great fervency and devotion to the Lord, as well as his consistent love for the churches. However, it is this letter of his to Philemon that enlightens us on his great love for God’s children and how much he identifies God’s children as his very own flesh and blood, and indeed life even. It was his personal letter to a friend, but through such a letter, much is revealed about his sincere love and care for another Christian brother.

After reading the accounts told of Paul and the deeds of his ministry, most people perceive him as stern and strict. We’ve read about him reprimanding the Corinthian church, about how he warned that he would not spare them the rod if he continued to find unrighteousness among them despite his earlier exhortations of correction. Then though the Bible also wrote of him pledging love and dedication to the church, this other image is hardly appreciated by most people, perhaps because it is so commonly understood and accepted that ministers of God in particular, are to love the people implicitly. In his treatment involving Philemon and Onesimus, however, the love and wisdom Paul exercised were so evident that it is clear to all how deeply entrenched the love of God is in him. It was his relationship with two private individuals that allow us today to see a demonstration of the love and wisdom God has commanded us towards all.

It is not a person’s interaction among the crowds that concludes the way of his heart towards the people. In fact, it is a man’s relationship with a unit as small as an individual to bigger groups that determine the character of his love for all of God’s creation. If we can love a person like how Christ loves him, and every person we meet the same way, we will over time develop a love for more people. The invisible law that works in every man’s heart is this: sow love towards one and reap love towards all. When we discipline our hearts to love one, and are conscientious to make that a virtuous habit, we are cultivating a love that will some day be generous enough for the people in the world. Thus, we believe that family relationships are where we can learn forgiveness and love. Learning to love one another on a small scale will refine our treatment of people and increase our ability to love.

Prov. 4:23 teaches that the way our hearts think and feel will affect every aspect of our lives. In our hearts, when we discover God’s love for us, we are closer to the next step of loving another person in the same way, and when that happens, we are drawing nearer to the higher height of loving more people with the same godly love we’ve experienced and shared. It is true, when we have an encounter with God and experience the affection of his love, we are more likely to take the effort to render the same affection to those around us.

How important is this virtue of love, for the Lord Jesus said that by this all men shall recognise us as His disciples.

“A new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another as I have loved you. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples” (John 13:35-36)


Good Fellowship Refreshes the Hearts of Others (v. 7,20)

“the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.” (Phil. 7)
“refresh my heart in the Lord.” (Phil. 20)

Paul mentioned that Philemon has refreshed the hearts of the people in his fellowship and he asked for him to refresh his heart by obliging his appeal made on behalf of Onesimus. Paul was seeking Philemon: “Let me have joy from you in the Lord..” (v. 20)

“Refresh” means to lift from weariness and dreariness. It means to hearten, uplift and inspire life in a person. The question we should ask ourselves is: what did it take for Philemon to refresh Paul’s heart? What did Philemon need to do so that his friend may feel all those things described in someone who feels refreshed in heart?

The answer is found in the letter, before the request was made: “receive him as you would me…… yes, brother, let me have joy in you from the Lord; refresh my heart…” (Phil. 17-20). That would have gladdened Paul and indeed, been a balm to soothe the emotional pain and torment he must for that time have suffered from the imprisonment and persecution. It was not necessary for him to have Philemon build a luxury church for him to preach in or have Philemon exalt him as an honoured guest. Instead, his heart would be greatly cheered if Philemon were to treat Onesimus as a brother and receive him with love.

Doing nice things here and there may warm hearts occasionally, but to refresh a heart and provide an antidote to the worn-out heart, it takes good fellowship. For there the presence of the Lord is, and where God’s presence is, there is fullness of joy more than one can consume. For this, we encourage everyone to pray before meeting with God’s people, to awaken the ability within us to refresh the people who we might come into contact with. When people see the attributes of God coming forth from His children, it re-enlightens their minds to the ways of God and re-directs their hearts to His goodness. By this, we are encouraging each brother and sister in Christ towards the day of the Lord’s coming, for He desires the church – His bride – to be pure and blameless when He comes for her. This is why God taught that we should remain in the fellowship of His people, for good fellowship refreshes hearts and dispels weariness.

Now, good fellowship is able to refresh us, but not unless we approach a fellowship with a spirit that allows us to receive this wonderful blessing. “that I may come to you with joy by the will of God, and may be refreshed together with you.” (Rom. 15:32). Paul recognised that in order to be refreshed by the fellowship, he has to prepare himself to receive the blessing. Think of the several great and truly uplifting fellowship gatherings you’ve attended; then think about how many who attend them actually leave those fellowships looking like they had been refreshed. In almost any fellowship, there would be some who would miss out on tasting the goodness of God’s presence and the times of refreshing from there. Sadly but usually, these are the people who are in the greatest need for a touch from God. They are the ones who need to be renewed within and strengthened in their faith. However, because they are usually also the ones who are seldom contented, who would find fault in almost everything they see and hear they do not experience the refreshing touch that others get from a godly fellowship. They are always dissatisfied with the preaching, they find unpardonable faults in the lives of the people around them and day by day they grow grouchy and bitter, making themselves unpleasant choices of fellowship mates and eventually, social dates and life partners. They can be seated on the very same pew as those who lift high praises to God, but instead of responding to God in like spirit, drag their feet out of the chapel at the end of the gathering. There are too many church-goers found in this description. As such, God’s promise of His presence refreshing them is not fulfilled in their lives, not because He couldn’t (He did it for the rest) but because they misguided their hearts towards themselves instead of towards God.

So, beloved of God, do not be led away by your hearts. Watch them for they either bring forth the issues of life or that of death. No godly fellowship will be enough to cure a heart that is faced away from God. The most inspiring fellowship will also not be enough to refresh or nourish a heart that is turned away from God’s counsel. Therefore, let us watch how we approach the throne of God, for when we carry a heart that seeks God and reveres Him, we shall find grace more than sufficient for us.

Rest Brings Refreshment to our Soul (Ex. 23:12)

“Six days you shall do your work, and on the seventh day you shall rest….” (Ex. 23:12)

By the verse that we have just read, we understand that from the beginning, God has necessitated rest for everyone. He took that from His own example: “…..He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.” (Gen. 2:2)

With the increase and growth of business activities, the pace of life has greatly accelerated in our society. Today, when there are just so many chores awaiting our attention at both the domestic and corporate arenas, taking a rest from work can be easily misunderstood as idleness. Think about how some people have gasped when they hear that you are going on leave. To the person who has been working, the leave is most-needed, almost urgently necessary; but to other people, that leave can be perceived as a luxurious option! And sometimes, guilt secretly develops when one takes leave from either work at home or at the office, such that even when that person is on leave, the weight on his heart is tremendous because he feels that he has made an irresponsible or inconsiderate choice to go on a break leaving behind a load of unattended tasks.

Brothers and sisters, we can’t say the same for all of you, but it is true that the above perception is something that haunts some of us when we retreat from our chores and enter into a season of rest. The thought that we might be slowing down the completion of a project, the apprehension that a spouse or parent may be upset if we take a break from household projects and go on a breather. It is a silent fear that grips many and, unknowingly, this actually creates a guilt in them that parks them at their activities and restrains them from departing. So the poor person labours on feverishly, always desiring to take a rest that he needs yet not doing so because he fears it might be interpreted as idleness or irresponsible conduct.

To anyone who feels this way, let the truth set you free! Taking a rest from a project or task that you’ve been working on is not idleness. It is necessary, good for you, and probably wise! It allows you to take a general look at what you’ve been doing, even examine at leisure the imperfections here and there so that you return to the same task with renewed strength and perhaps even improved ideas. More importantly, you are then a refreshed worker and therefore the effort given to the project thereafter is usually more efficient. A simple illustration of an artist at work may help some of us to see this: now think of an artist working on a sketch of a landscape before him. Occasionally, we will see the artist withdraw from his working position and standing at a distance to review his sketch. Then when he returns to it he makes some alterations to his original work and carry on from there. After more strokes of the pencil, he takes a further break to review his art again. Then he returns to it again, and carry on the sketch. This process goes on, right until he completes his sketch and is satisfied with his art. The completed work then becomes a masterpiece of his.

That is the key of working towards a masterpiece – rest from the labour and review what has been done, and then return to it with sharper judgment and keener perspective. That short season of rest can result in a vastly improved end product!

Every one of us knows that when rest is deficient, our immune system is weakened. This truth is applicable in the spiritual realm too. Many ministries in the recent years have suffered burn-out because they were entrenched in excessive labour and didn’t take the chance to take a step back and reflect on what has been done and how fits into the original vision they had. When that happens, the workers are extremely vulnerable to temptation and as such, tend to stray from God’s original plans and purposes for them. Thus, rest is important as it allows us to consolidate, re-equip and refocus.


Anointed Music Brings Refreshment (1 Sam. 16:23)

“And so it was, whenever the Spirit from God was upon Saul, that David would take a harp and play it with his hand. Then Saul would become refreshed and well, and the distressed spirit would depart from him.” (1 Sam. 16:23)

Besides rest, which we have to take for ourselves, God may also at His own appointment provide a source of refreshment from music for us. The above example of how a distressing spirit can be forced to depart from Saul whenever David plays the harp explains how anointed music can drive dreariness away and refresh a person. In more general circumstances, anointed music can be found in the form of Christian hymns or songs of praise and worship. These proclaim and confess the supremacy of God and as God is enthroned in the midst of those who hear or make the music, it heals the heaviness in them and lifts their spirits.

Praise will drive away dreariness and lift one’s spirits from heaviness. It births strength in a man’s spirit and boosts it out of lethargy.

“The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” (Isa. 61:3)

There have been several messages speaking about the music one chooses to hear – usually they tell us that music heightens our senses and affects us in a deeper way than we know. And it is true, for we are encouraged to be “singing and making melody in (our) heart to the Lord” (Eph. 5:19) which will in turn create for us a cheerful countenance (Prov. 15:13). “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance.” By having songs of praise in our hearts, we are livening our hearts and expressions, and the more we continue this way, the longer we stay refreshed in the Lord’s anointing.

Our Practical Kindness can Refresh Others (Gen. 18:1-5)

“So (Abraham) lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, three men were standing by him; and when he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them,…. And said, “My Lord, …please let a little be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree. And I will bring a morsel of bread, that you may refresh your hearts.” (Gen. 18:1-5)

When Abraham said that he would bring food to the men, he made an insightful statement as well. He recognised that in dealing kindness to the men, he is not only providing refreshment for their bodies but for their hearts as well. Very often, we are heartened when we see a kind deed being done, and we are inspired to remember God’s goodness when we see good being rendered from one party to another. It is such practical deeds of kindness that also bring refreshment to people. Therefore, the Bible tells us, “faith without works is dead” (James 2:26). But when we do good, others will benefit and God will be glorified, for His Word says “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matt. 5:16)

Do the Right Thing, and do it Right (Philemon 8-11)

“Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you ….. I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains.” (Philemon 8-11)

Onesimus had departed from his master, Philemon. Paul was doing the right thing in sending Onesimus back to Philemon and Philemon in turn would be required to perform the correct deed of receiving his slave back. Paul, with his authority, would have been able to command Philemon to do that, but probably guessing that Onesimus would not receive a warm reception if things were compelled, he chose the imploring approach by appealing to Philemon instead. And we are told from historical records that because of the grace that accompanied Paul’s release of Onesimus to Philemon, Onesimus later became a minister of God in Ephesus.

The Lord Jesus demonstrated this principle too. When he met the Samaritan woman at the well, He knew by spiritual reckoning that she was having intimate relations with more than one man. He corrected her ways, but did that without humiliating her or causing any awkwardness. Instead, He led her to open confession before He identified the sin and corrected it. It is particularly important to exercise such tact and caution in our dealings with people, for without it, we may sometimes foil God’s plan instead of fulfilling it.

When the Israelites complained in the wilderness and demanded for water, the Lord told Moses, “Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water..” but Moses “lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly…” (Num. 20:7-11). In bringing forth the water to the people, Moses did right, but in striking the rock instead of speaking to it, he did it incorrectly. Because of that, God was angry with Him, for he had misrepresented the Most High God before His people. Because of Moses’ actions, and he was supposed to representing God, the people got the idea that God was equally frustrated with them which apparently He wasn’t!

Since it is so easy to misrepresent God even with an earnest heart, all the more we ought to deal wisely with people and circumstances. When serving God’s ministry, be very alert and aware that we need to act in response to God’s Spirit and not out of obligation or compulsion.


Ministerial Ethics (Philemon 12-14a)

Paul apparently could have used Philemon to assist him in his ministry, but he did not use his authority or friendship with Philemon to achieve this aim.

“I am sending him back… whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing.” (Philemon 12-14a)

This is a good example of how a shepherd loves his sheep and does not use them for his own gratification. Paul needed Onesimus’ help, but at the same time he knew that Onesimus belonged rightfully to Philemon. Therefore, instead of arranging for Onesimus to remain with him and be a helping hand in his ministry, Paul returned him to his former labour with Philemon instead. It is a heart-warming account to read – of Paul’s love for Onesimus that was so genuine he grieved his own needs.

This is how a mentor should be to those who look to him for guidance and spiritual discipleship. However, there exists today, people whom we know as ‘toxic mentors’ – for these are people who possess the ability and are given the opportunity to influence the lives of others, but who lack the basic qualities of honesty and integrity. It is very difficult to distinguish between a mentor who truly cares and one who is simply looking for the opportunity to use his/her sheep to fulfil a vision or an expectation. Usually, these people are a legend in their own minds. They speak eloquently and they persuade convincingly. They have a dominating spirit within them and silently, albeit unconsciously, they try to take the place of God in others’ lives.

If you are a mentor, beware of the above syndrome. Do not restrain your sheep from entering into green pastures, and do not hold them back from quiet waters. God tells us that there is “a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (Eccl. 3:5). Do not usurp the place of God over a person’s life. Respect the plans of God for the person(s) you mentor and seek God’s grace in developing them into their fullest potential.

“Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” (1 Cor. 11:1)

Paul encouraged the people working for him to imitate him as he imitates Christ. Similarly, we follow those who ‘follow Christ’; for we do not want to end up following someone to a place where we do not know if God’s presence abides and certainly, we do not wish to live without a standard to watch and abide by. A good mentor does not seek to please or benefit himself. He will have his others’ interests amongst his priorities.

Do not Make Excuses for lack of Mentor

In the Christian circle, we have heard several remarks being made about why people want to leave the Bible Study groups or excuse themselves from church. Usually, they are dissatisfied with the particular leader who is heading the bible study group or they find that the pastor leading them is not the ideal mentor that they desired.

Soon, not only Christian activities become non-existent in their agendas, but even their personal devotion with God and their Christian growth takes a fall back. When confronted, their defence will be that they did not have the benefit of good mentors leading them and showing them the way to the paths of godliness and righteousness. But God does not accept this as an excuse; for whomever He gives to be over us, He has given us sufficient grace to grow under that person’s leadership.

Take Eli for example: he was a father of sons who were not in the count of those who loved the Lord and served Him. He was a dull priest who made no major impact as far as we know and he also failed to discipline his sons in the ways of the Lord. Yet, the prophet Samuel was trained in Eli’s presence.

“Now the sons of Eli were corrupt, they did not know the Lord.” (1 Sam. 2:12)

“Now the boy Samuel ministered to the Lord before Eli. …. So Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground.” (1 Sam. 3:1, 15-19)

A mentor can never be a substitute for God. We cannot depend too heavily on them. We need to seek God for ourselves. In saying this, we are by no means belittling or demeaning the ministry of mentoring. We understand that we are who we are by the grace of God and this grace is usually imparted through the people that God brings into our fellowship. However, we must add that God has certainly not intended for anyone of us to gain principal growth from a mentor. No matter who we have with us, Jesus is still the vine and we the branches. If we abide in Him, we will flourish. Apart from Him, we can achieve nothing (John 15:5-7). That is the way of growth designed for us – that we remain connected to God and let Him mould and develop us. A mentor’s contribution to our lives is the action of a catalyst – it accelerates the growth process, and like a refiner’s fire, it tidies the ways we use in serving God.

Therefore, we want to say that the future of your relationship with God lies not in the hands of anyone else, but yourself. Hold on to it while you hold on to Christ and He will prosper that future, for the Lord has plans to give us a future and a hope (Jer. 29:11).